Lawak versi org ganu!!

Sini saye ade satu cite untuk pengajarang semue. Bagi sape-sape yang nok gi interbiuw dang ade niat nok nippu mase interbiuw tu, ingat- ingatlah cite ni. Kisoh benar ni tau bukang rekaang!!!

Beberape hari yang lepas, satu temuduge kenaikang pangkat telah dibuat oleh saloh sebuoh anok syarikak TNB. Biaselah kang kalu nok naik pangkat mestilah duduk ujiang bertulis dang lepas tu barulah ujiang bercakak pulok (temuduga lah tu) test suare lah pulok. Dang dalang rama-rama yang terpilih tu ade tige kawang kite dari
Tranung telah dipilih untuk di temuduge. Kebetulang pulok tige kawang kite ni adelah peserte ketige yang pertame. Ape lagi debor peruk lah kawang 3 orang nih.

Kawang yang nombor satu mule la merungut, (kene bace ikut loghat terengganu!).......

"Baru je sapa sini, letih tok hilang lagi,doh bale baru sapa pulok".

Sampuk pulak kawan yang kedue ni.... "mapuh kite kalu lagu ni... aku doh kecuk perut ni".

Dang bersuare la pulok kawang yang ketige ni dengang berlagok macho seraye berkate "Mu nok takut bende gok awang eh... Kalu die tanye, mu jawap je la. Kalu mu tok tahu, mu bahang gi la jawap bende pun.... Janji mu jawap doh. Hok mu due ekor ni takut sangat bak pe....Bukang nye tukang interbiuw tu nok makang mu. Cer mu tengok aku nih, rilek je. Siap buleh control macho lagi".

Tibe mase yang ditunggu-tunggu, make name kawang kite yang pertame ni pun dipanggil.

Dalam 15 minit kemudian, kawang yang pertame ni pun kuor lah. Ape lagi macang kera kene belacang la kawang nombor due ni dok tanye ape soalan yang di tanye oleh tukang interbiuw tadi.

"Eh awang! menatang bende tukang interbiuw tanye mu tadi???".

Awang nombor satu tadi pong jawap, "Susoh jugok soalan die, tapi aku tok ingak doh bende yang die tanye tadi, tapi se je yang aku ingak die tanye....pengerusi TNB yang baru sape name. Aku pung jawaplah Datuk Jamaluddin Jarjis".

Kawang nombor due pulok menyampuk "Ah sudoh! aku tok reti starang nok sebuk name tu. Guane nih awang? Aku rase nok terkecing doh ni.Ah! aku tulih kat tangan je la awang.
Kalu die tanye senang le sikit aku nok jawak."

Pastu sapok le pulok kawang nombor tige yang berlagok panda nih, "Bak pe yang mu jadi bodo sangak nih. Jangang tulih kat tangang, nanti tukang interbiuw tu napok mu tulih situ. Mu tulih kat getoh spenda mu tu. Kalu die tanye, mu selok
la sikit spenda mu, mu buat-buat la gatal kat perut. Pah tu mu kerling la sikit name
pengerusi TNB tu".

Ape lagi... kawang nombor due ni pong suke la dengor idea bernas kawang die tu. Tapi die tok tahu yang kawang die nombor tige tu pong panik gok, sebab die pong tok tahu nak sebut macang mane.

Name kawan nombor due pun dipanggil....

Dalang 20 minit kawang nombor due tok kuor2 lagi. Kawang yang nombor tige panik doh nape kawang die tu tok kuor2 lagi. 5 minit pah tu, kuor la kawang nombor due ni dengang muke tersenyum. Kawang nombor tige pong tanye la, amende soalang yang kuor,
jawap la kawan no due ni, "Susoh gok soalang die tapi soalang pengerusi TNB
tu aku buleh jawap... aku sempak selok spenda aku. Tukang interbiuw tok nampok aku selok tadi".

Kawang nombor tige ni pong panik la. "Ah sudoh awang! aku pong sebenor nye tok tahu jugok nok sebuk name pengerusi TNB tu".

Jawap lah kawang no due tadi. " Mu tulih pade getoh spenda mu tu macang aku buat nih"

Kawan no tige pulok jawap," Aku nok tulih macam mane aku tok pakai spenda" Ape lagi kelang kabut le kawang kite. Tibe-tibe kawang no satu yang dari tadi berdiam diri tadi bagi idea..... "Ape bende yang susoh sangat ni awang, mu beri je spenda mu kat die kejap."

Ape lagi bergegas la kawang2 ni pegi toilet untuk berpindoh suor dalang. Tok lame lepah tu name kawang no tige ni pong dipanggil. Dengang semangak berkobor-kobor dan rase confident yang amat sangat kawang kite ni masuk dalam bilik interbiuw tu. Tok sapa 10 minit kawan nombor 3 ni kuor sambil tergaru-garu kepale dengang muke kepelikkang. Kawang2 die yang dok luor ni tanye la,bakpe kuor awal sangat?

Kata kawang nombor tige, mase ahli panel tanye name pengerusi TNB tu, die jawap je la. Tapi, tok pasa-pasa semue ahli panel suke sampaikang ade yang mengalir-alir air mate tok tahang sangat. Pastu kawang2 ni tanye la, mase ahli panel ni tanye name pengerusi TNB tu, ape mu jawap. Dengang confident die bagitahu dengan kuat dan lantang.................

"Datuk Calvin Klien". Rupe-rupenye mase kawang ni berpindoh seluor dalang tadi, kawang yang sorang ni dah terpakai terbalik rupenye yang belakang ke
depang, yang depang ke belakang. Name pengerusi TNB kat belakang,name jename spenda tu pulak kat depan. Tergelok besorlah kawang2 yang due orang lagi tu.....

Gitulah cerite nye.... spang kederang sunggoh!!!

mY crAzY bUddiEs!!

Hurmm,windu sgt sume knangan 2..tuk ex-student 5K/06,i miss u all. ble lar dpt jmpe ag ea..??pape pn,ak hrap hbungan kte trus bkkalan keyh,insyaallah smpai ke hmbusan nafas y terakhir..wakaka,poyo seyh!tp mmg 2 lar y ak hrap kn..hihihi..n tuk kwn2 ak kt kpm lak,thanxx bebanyak keyh cz sudi jd my besties..alwayzz keep in touch keyh!!hee..ak shayang kamoo sume!!

Assignment, assignment n assignment again..!

AUGUST 11- hurmm..Sir syzry had given us an assignment 1.this assignment is about our Management Information System subject. The task given to us is to obtain some information about hardware and software such as desktop PC, laptop, printers, and what so ever laa..huhu..This assignment should be complete on 1 September..

AUGUST 15- On that day,my friends and I went to computer shop at Dataran Pahlawan and Carrefour shopping complex to find any pamphlets and brochures that related with this assignment.crik pnyer carik pnyer carik,akhir nya ak jmpe gak pamplet n brochures 2..even though i just got a few information that i need for this assignment..huhu..but my besties,CIK YAH, had given some brochures to me.(dye da xnk da brochures,thats why laa dye bg kt ak)hehehe..thanxx a lot,Yah and Mya!I love u all..

AUGUST 21 to 31- I try to complete this assignment, even though it is quite difficult for me..hee..

AUGUST 31- I had completed my M.I.S assignment..Hoooreeyy!!
MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!
=p

SYUKUR..ALHAMDULILLAH..hihi

Net Meeting

Microsoft NetMeeting was a VoIP and multi-point videoconferencing client included in many versions of Microsoft Windows (from Windows 95 OSR2 to Windows XP). It uses the H.323 protocol for video and audio conferencing, and is interoperable with OpenH323-based clients such as Ekiga, and Internet Locator Service (ILS) as reflector. It also uses a slightly modified version of the ITU T.120 Protocol for whiteboarding, application sharing, desktop sharing, remote desktop sharing (RDS) and file transfers. The secondary Whiteboard in NetMeeting 2.1 and later utilizes the H.324 protocol.

NetMeeting was originally bundled with later versions of Internet Explorer 3, and the launch version of Internet Explorer 4.0.
Before video service became common on free IM clients, such as Yahoo! Messenger and MSN Messenger, NetMeeting was a popular way to perform video conferences and chatting over the Internet (with the help of public ILS servers, or "direct-dialing" to an IP address). The defunct TechTV channel even used NetMeeting as a means of getting viewers onto their call-in shows via webcam, although viewers had to call on their telephones as a matter of redundancy because broadband Internet connections were only starting to proliferate.

As of Windows Vista, NetMeeting is no longer included with Microsoft Windows, and Microsoft recommends using newer applications such as Windows Meeting Space, Remote Desktop Connection, Remote Assistance, Windows Live Messenger and Microsoft Office Live Meeting in place of NetMeeting. Windows Meeting Space works only over peer-to-peer IPv6 local networks, not the internet, only has collaboration features and lacks NetMeeting's conferencing features, however Windows Live Messenger allows one to one audio-video conferencing. Live Meeting is a paid subscription/service-based offering that includes multi-party conferencing features. For internet collaboration and screen sharing, Microsoft has also released SharedView as a separate download.

However, NetMeeting can still be installed and run on Windows Vista. A hotfix for Vista was published by Microsoft on March 22, 2007. Users can obtain this hotfix by contacting Microsoft Support. The hotfix contains an installer package to install NetMeeting 3.02 on Windows Vista Business, Enterprise or Ultimate editions. Version 3.02 is essentially a port of 3.01 to Windows Vista, however some features are not available in 3.02 such as remote desktop sharing invitations (incoming) and whiteboard area selection.Microsoft has stated that the Vista compatible version is unsupported and is only meant as a transition tool to help support collaboration sessions when used with Windows XP-based computers.NetMeeting 3.01 can also be installed under Windows Vista by setting the installer's compatibility level to NT4.
The Windows Vista version of NetMeeting does not install and work properly on Windows 7. Windows Meeting Space has also been removed. Microsoft SharedView requires internet connectivity, it does not work only over a local LAN.

Cream Puff

Pastry

250ml air
125g butter
150g tepung – diayak
¼ st garam
1 st gula
4 biji telur

Cara Membuatnya

1. Didihkan air dan butter hingga cair. Kemudian masukkan tepung yang diayak. Gaul sebati hingga adunan tidak melekat di periuk. Angkat dan sejukkan.
2. Bila sejuk pukul sedikit and masukkan telur sebijik sebijik. Bakar 25 minit dgn suhu 200˚C atau sehingga kekuningan.

Custard Filling

500ml susu segar
100g gula
80g tepung custard

Cara Membuatnya

1. Hangatkan susu dan gula atas api sederhana. Masukkan tepung kastard and kacau sehingga pekat.

Type of gurlzz

TYPE OF GIRLS…ZAMAN KINI.. dan nama-namanya sempena istilah-istilah di zaman komputer dan internet:

HARD DISK GIRLS:
she remembers everything, FOREVER
(dia ingat semua perkara selama-lamanya - kalau tak rosak la)

RAM GIRLS:
she forget about you, the moment you turn her off
(dia akan lupakan anda, bila anda menolaknya)

WINDOW GIRLS:
everyone know that she can’t do a thing right, but no one can live without her.
(semua orang tahu bahawa dia tidak mampu buat apa pun dengan betul, tapi tidak ada seorang pun yang boleh hidup tanpanya)

SCREENSAVER GIRLS:
she is good for nothing but at least she is fun
(dia tidak berguna pun tapi menyeronokkan)

INTERNET GIRLS:
Difficult to access
(susah untuk diakses)

SERVER GIRLS:
Always busy when you need her
(sentiasa sibuk bila anda perlukannya)

MULTIMEDIA GIRLS:
She make horrible thing look beautiful
(benda yang hodoh dia boleh tukarkan jadi cantik)

CD-ROM GIRLS:
She is always faster and faster.
(dia semakin laju dan laju)

EMAIL GIRLS:
Every ten things she says, eight are nonsense
(setiap sepuluh perkara yang dia cakap, lapan adalah mengarut)

VIRUS GIRLS:
Also
known as “wife” when you are not expecting her, she comes, install
herself and uses all your resources. If you try to uninstall her you
will lose something, if you don’t try uninstall her you will lose
everything…
(juga dikenali sebagai “isteri” bila anda tidak menjangka, dia datang,
melekat dan gunakan semua sumber anda. Jika anda mahu buang dia maka
anda akan kehilangan sesuatu, jika anda tidak buang dia maka anda akan
kehilangan kesemuanya….)

Anda gadis yang mana satu?

What month were you born in?

JANUARY=PIMP
Loves to chat. Loves those who love them. Loves to takes things at the centre. Inner and physical beauty. Lies but doesn't pretend. Gets angry often. Treats friends importantly. Brave and fearless. Always making friends. Easily hurt but recovers easily. Daydreamer. Opinionated. Does not care to control emotions. Unpredictable. Extremely smart, but definitely the hottest AND sexiest of them MFE.

FEBRUARY=THUG
Abstract thoughts. Loves reality and abstract. Intelligent and clever. Changing personality. Attractive. sexiest out of everyone. A real speed demon. Has more than one best friend. Temperamental. Quiet, shy and humble. Honest and loyal. Determined to reach goals. Loves freedom. Rebellious when restricted. Loves aggressiveness. Too sensitive and easily hurt. Gets angry really easily but does not show it. Dislikes unnecessary things. Loves making friends but rarely shows it. Daring and stubborn. Ambitious. Realizing dreams and hopes. Sharp. Loves entertainment and leisure. Romantic on the inside not outside. Superstitious and ludicrous. Spendthrift. Tries to learn to show emotions.


MARCH=GORGEOUS
Drop dead gorgeous!!! Attractive personality. Very! sexy. Affectionate & Secretive. Naturally honest, generous and sympathetic. Chatterbox! Loves to talk a lot! Loves to get their way! . Unbelievable kisser! Easily angered. Very stubborn in the most way possible! Loves to get noticed! Willing to take risks for others. Makes good choices. Has a great fashion sense! Maybe a little too popular with others * wink wink *. Outgoing and crazy at times! Intelligent. Can sometimes be a heartbreaker! Can love as much as
possible! Hates insults. Loves compliments! A very big flirt! Trustworthy. Appreciative and returns kindness. The best in bed out of NE of these months!! Hardly shows emotions. Tends to bottle up feelings. Observant and assesses others, likes to keep they’re crushes kind a secret, pretty much flawless.


APRIL=SEXY
Suave and compromising. Funny and humorous. Stubborn. Very talkative. Calm and cool. Kind and sympathetic. Concerned and detailed. Loyal. Does work well with others. Very confident. Sensitive. Positive Attitude. Thinking generous. Good memory. Clever and knowledgeable. Loves to look for information. Able to cheer everyone up and/or make them laugh. Able to motivate oneself and others. Understanding. Fun to be around. Outgoing. Hyper. Bubbly personality. Secretive. Boy/girl crazy. Loves sports, music, leisure and travelling. Systematic. Hot but has brains.


MAY=LOVER
Hella sexy, loves sex n making luv, tends to be SOOOOO hot!! Active and dynamic. Decisive and haste but tends to regret. Attractive and affectionate to oneself. Strong mentality. Loves attention. Diplomatic. Consoling, friendly and solves people

9;s problems. Brave and fearless. Adventurous. Loving and caring. Suave and generous. Usually you have many friends. Enjoys to make love. Emotional. Stubborn. Hasty. Good memory. Moving, motivates oneself and others. Loves to travel and explore. Sometimes sexy in a way that only their lover can understand.


JUNE = LUST
Fun to be with. Loves to try new things. Boy/girls LOVE you. You are very hot. Secretive. Difficult to fathom and to be understood. Quiet unless excited or tensed. Takes pride in oneself. Has reputation. Easily consoled. Honest. Concerned about people's feelings. Tactful. Friendly. Approachable. Emotional temperamental and unpredictable. Moody and easily hurt. Witty and sparkly. snazzy at times. Not revengeful. Forgiving but never forgets. dislikes nonsensical and unnecessary things. Guides others physically and mentally. Sensitive and forms impressions carefully. Caring and loving. Treats others equally. Strong sense of sympathy. Wary and sharp. Judges people through observations. Hardworking. No difficulties in studying. Loves to be alone. Always broods about the past and the old friends. Waits for friends. Never looks for friends. Not aggressive unless provoked. Loves to be loved. Easily hurt but takes long to recover.




JULY=GANGSTA
You've got the best personality and are an absolute pleasure to be around. You love to make new friends and be outgoing. You are a great flirt and more than likely have a very attractive partner, a wicked hottie. Like somebody with a JUNE birthday. It is also more likely than that you have a massive record collection. When it comes to films, you know how to pick them and may one day become a famous actor/actress yourself - heck, you've got the looks for it!!!


AUGUST=ATTITUDE
outgoing personality. takes risks. feeds on attention. self control. kind hearted. Self confident. loud and boisterous. VERY revengeful. easy to get along with and talk to. has an "every thing's peachy" attitude. likes talking and singing. loves music. daydreamer. easily distracted. Hates not being trusted. BIG imagination. loves to be loved. hates studying. in need of "that someone". longs for freedom. rebellious when withheld or restricted. lives by "no pain no gain" caring. always a suspect. playful. mysterious. "charming" or "beautiful" to everyone. stubborn. curious. independent. strong willed. a fighter.


SEPTEMBER=FINEASS PIMP
Loves to chat. Loves those who love them. Loves to takes things at the centre. Great in bed. Inner and physical beauty. Doesn't pretend. Gets angry often. A meaningful love life partner. Makes right choices. Treats friends importantly. Brave and fearless. Always making friends. Does not harm others. It is all about love and fairness. Easily hurt and hard to recover. Daydreamer and does fulfill. Opinionated. Does not care to control emotions. Knows what to do, to have fun. Unpredictable. Someone to have close to you. Extremely smart, but definitely the hottest AND sexiest of them all.


OCTOBER=HOTTIE
Trustworthy and loyal. Very passionate and dangerous. Wild at times. Knows how to have fun. Sexy and mysterious. Everyone is drawn towards your inner and outer beauty and independent personality. Playful, but secretive. Very emotional and temperamental sometimes. Meets new people easily and very social in a group. Fearless and independent. Can hold their own. Stands out in a crowd. Essentially very smart. Usually, you ever begin a relationship with someone from this month, hold on to them because their one of a kind.


NOVEMBER=SWEETIE
Stubborn and hard-hearted. Strong-willed and highly motivated. Sharp thoughts. Easily angered. Attracts others and loves attention. Deep feelings. Beautiful physically and mentally. Firm Standpoint. Needs no motivation. Shy towards opposite sex. Easily consoled. Systematic (left brain). Loves to dream. Strong clairvoyance. Understanding. Sickness usually in the ear and neck. Good imagination. Good physical. Weak breathing. Loves literature and the arts. Loves travelling. Dislike being at home. Restless. having many children. Hardworking. High spirited.


DECEMBER=BEAUTY
This straight-up means you’re the most good-looking Loyal and generous. Patriotic. Competitive in everything. Active in games and interactions. Impatient and hasty. Ambitious. Influential in organizations. Fun to be with. Easy to talk to, though hard to understand. Thinks far with vision, yet complicated to know. Easily influenced by kindness. Polite and soft-spoken. Having lots of ideas. Sensitive. Active mind. Hesitating, tends to delay. Choosy and always wants the Stubborn and hard-hearted. Strong-willed and highly motivated. Sharp thoughts. Easily angered. Attracts others and loves attention. Deep feelings. Beautiful physically and mentally. Firm Standpoint. Needs no motivation. Shy towards opposite sex. Easily consoled. Systematic (left brain). Loves to dream. Strong clairvoyance. Understanding. Sickness usually in the ear and neck. Good imagination. Good physical. Weak breathing. Loves literature and the arts. Loves travelling. Dislike being at home. Restless. having many children. Hardworking. High spirited